After a while (a life without him)

I cannot imagine how hard it must to be for you. I'm really happy to get a mail from you. I'm happy to know you haven't forgotten me even if you should... By my side I'm still thinking of you and I miss you a lot but i feel powerless. I wish to do many things but i can't. Meeting you was wonderful and at the same time the most hurtful thing that happened in my life. I wish to tell you so many things but i shouldn't. Just want to let you know you are a really important person for me and you will always be. Take care.
- an email from him| read for the nth time

It's been a while
and i'm back to my life
dark and uninspired
without you.
Words just seem to jumble
i couldn't find the rhyme
everything's a black hole.
I used to pull tricks off my sleeves
but they're now sand on my hands
slipping away.

My world is a big mess
i can't pick up the pieces
i fall everytime i try to make a stand
i try to move forward but i always fall behind,
I used to be happy on my own
but now i never felt more alone
i'm slipping
slipping away...

It's been a while
and i'm back to my life without you
i'm trying to be strong
trying to move on
i hide each tear with my smiles
laughter is the best disguise
im glad to be free
but when its only me
the lights go dim
and i'm slowly slipping
slipping away...