Not Made for Gym and Diet?

Note: For you Melai, as requested :)

One of the cons of working at home is that I sit all day watching my tummy grow from big to huge. Lately, I am having a hard time fitting into my old jeans (old means a couple of months old) and I'm scared to buy new ones in fear of learning that I have grown a size bigger.

Saleslady: Mam, ano pong size?
Me: Mmmm... 26. Saleslday: (looks from head to toe)
after a couple of minutes...
Me: Sige Miss. Hindi kasya eh.
Saleslady: (murmurs to herself) Sabi na nga ba eh. Feelingera! 26 lang daw waistline.

I hear my friends and family tell me all the time that I am getting fat, my tummy's getting bigger, I can no longer fit in the screen when they're taking my pictures and I've practically heard all synonyms of the word "fat" in the last couple of weeks. And it doesn't help that I'm an emotional eater - meaning I eat when I'm sad, I eat when I'm happy and I eat with every chance I get.

Losing weight means hard work and discipline, which is exactly the problem. I lack both.

- I tried the no rice diet for a week and felt lighter but the excess weight immediately returned after I consumed cups and cups of rice like a rice-starved prisoner.
FACT 1: I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT RICE.

- I tried to enroll in a gym and paid one year membership fee to remind myself to go everyday otherwise I have to blame myself for wasting my hard-earned money.
FACT 2: I'M STILL BLAMING MYSELF UP UNTIL NOW FOR WASTING HARD-EARNED MONEY.

- I tried those slimming capsules, slimming tea, Nesvita and all other L-carnitine drinks (whatever that is), green tea capsules and all other capsules except space capsule (corny) and I probably lost an imaginary one or two inches off my waistline but the thing is it immediately comes back after drinking iced tea and coke.
FACT 3: SLIMMING DRINKS WON'T WORK UNLESS YOU WANT TO DRINK BIGUERLAI EVERYDAY FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.

- Being a Limewire addict, I also downloaded Hiphop abs and Pilates workout videos but I kept pressing the fast forward button everytime I have to lie on my back, do a legsplit or an egg roll and when I have to touch the back of my knee with my tongue.
FACT 4: WORKOUT VIDEOS ARE JUST FOR YOUR EYES AND SHOULD NEVER BE TRIED AT HOME.

And so I didn't attempt to lose weight until recently. I don't know whatever has gotten into me but I just decided that - this is it! I went to Fitness First Eastwood and spent a day at the gym. The trainer weighed me and to my utter shock I found out I'm already 125 lbs. My second fattest moment was when I was working at Sykes back in 2006 and I was only 118 lbs then. She also measured my body fat index and I was only 2 points away from the risky stage. That day I just told myself to do it.

I bought a 2-piece swimsuit at Tiendesitas, wore it and took pictures of myself using my cam (I will die first before I'll show it to anyone and by then I'm sure no one will want to see a dead person wearing a swimsuit 2 sizes smaller). I then disgusted myself by looking at my layers and layers of flabs. While doing that, I kept telling myself that four months later, I will fit beautifully into those little pieces of clothes. I also looked at my friends' pictures (specifically Andrea and Tracy looking oh so thin and criticized how fat I look when I'm with them).

TIP 1: Find something that will inspire/disgust/encourage you enough to lose weight. Ex. Paste your picture wearing only your undies besides Heidi Klum's own 2 months after she gave birth to her second child.

I started buying fruits and compromised with myself regarding my diet - I will eat rice only during breakfast and lunch. Everything that I eat after 6 comprises of fruits, biscuits and other light stuff. I never believed in denying myself of what I want to eat but I remind myself that there is always a right time and that you can't have it all (in one meal).

TIP 2: Make a deal with the devil (devil=yourself). When it comes to losing weight, you are your own worst enemy and best friend. The choice is entirely up to you.

Although I'm so lazy to go to the gym, Fitness First offers classes such as Latin, Bellydancing, BodyJam, etc. which to me is a lot more fun than carrying weights and doing situps. I realized that as long as I am enjoying the time I spend at the gym, it all becomes less of a work out and more of a leisure time. Add the fact that I work out alongside Asi Taulava, Carlos Morales, Mike Enriquez and er-- other hunky guys -- this is the wisest decision I made so far.

TIP 3: Do something that you truly enjoy until there's no more "work" only fun, fun, fun! If you really can't find any form of exercise or work out that you enjoy, go to a hypnotist who can make you believe that you really are strolling in Paris shopping for Louis Vuitton bags when in reality you are sweating out cleaning your room (all day) and your neighboor's room (all night).

Because of the hunky guys in FF, my gay friends are also hooked to working out in the gym. They became my new gym buddies. They tell me when I'm being lazy, when I'm not doing enough work, when I'm cheating, etc. etc. They also stop me from eating rice at night. And they hit me in the head when I stray from my routine and do something stupid like eating 3 donuts from Krispy Kreme.

TIP 4: Find a gym buddy or weight loss guru who would torture you when you a) forget to exercise b) eat chocolate c) sleep all day. Remind yourself not to kill your friend when he takes away your super supreme pizza.

I'm not criticizing anyone and I don't have anything against fat people. It's just that I prefer myself leaner and able to pose wearing swimsuits without looking like an overripe banana. And I think I owe it to myself to be fit, fabulous and sexy. Also, I'm not advertising Fitness First (for those who wants to enroll I can refer you to my agent, just text me). There are a lot of other ways to work out. You can jog in Circle, Rizal Park or in your neighborhood. You can also attend cheap 20-peso workout classes in Greenhills and QC Circle during mornings. You can ask your friends to play badminton or patintero or taguang tsinelas. Walk instead of taking the jeep. You can also work double time and walk with your arms from your home to your office. There are a lot of ways to lose weight. It's never an easy task so you should really, really and let me repeat - really, be determined. Think: DIET, EXERCISE and DISCIPLINE. You have to want it bad enough just as much as you want kaldereta and rocky road ice cream.

Oh and lastly, don't think about food too much.