Alone

how lonely can one's life get?
is it when you love someone you can't even touch -
you grasp for air to catch his scent
look into someone else's eyes hoping to see the twinkle that has always been in his?

is it when you live each day in all its naked glory
half-awake, never getting to where you want to be
and you settle for something less
hoping it would get better in time

you look at your face in the mirror
and you miss the you you've both left behind
you hold back your tears and say
this is just a phase...
a phase that you'll soon get over with
the same phase you've been in for the past two years

you gather all the courage you could muster
and take one step at a time
you die with each one
because you walk away from fate
and you choose not to love

someone please tell me...
how lonely can one's life get?

After a while (a life without him)

I cannot imagine how hard it must to be for you. I'm really happy to get a mail from you. I'm happy to know you haven't forgotten me even if you should... By my side I'm still thinking of you and I miss you a lot but i feel powerless. I wish to do many things but i can't. Meeting you was wonderful and at the same time the most hurtful thing that happened in my life. I wish to tell you so many things but i shouldn't. Just want to let you know you are a really important person for me and you will always be. Take care.
- an email from him| read for the nth time

It's been a while
and i'm back to my life
dark and uninspired
without you.
Words just seem to jumble
i couldn't find the rhyme
everything's a black hole.
I used to pull tricks off my sleeves
but they're now sand on my hands
slipping away.

My world is a big mess
i can't pick up the pieces
i fall everytime i try to make a stand
i try to move forward but i always fall behind,
I used to be happy on my own
but now i never felt more alone
i'm slipping
slipping away...

It's been a while
and i'm back to my life without you
i'm trying to be strong
trying to move on
i hide each tear with my smiles
laughter is the best disguise
im glad to be free
but when its only me
the lights go dim
and i'm slowly slipping
slipping away...

Kanlungan

ang dilim ang aking liwanag

at ang buwan ang aking araw

humihigop, ako'y nalulunod

sa limot ng pangako

tila isang islang nilamon ng karagatan...

ang dilim ang aking liwanag

at ang dapithapon ay bukang-liwayway

nagaanyaya, nangaakit

ng isang umagang

papawi sa hapdi ng gabi...

ang dilim ang aking liwanag

at dito ako'y nararapat

pagkat ang dilim ang aking kanlungan

pagkat sa dilim ay kung saan ang alaala mo'y naroon

ang iyong himig ang katahimikan

at ang tibok ng iyong puso ang siyang papawi

sa liwanag

sa liwanag kung saan ika'y wala na...

My Last Goodbye

for alex

I'm tired of pretending
that you'll come back one day
tired of saying
you always wanted to stay
i've counted so many nights
by myself
left out in our past

I'm sick of waiting
for the letters that never came
i'm scared of finding
that this is all just a game
i've died a million times
with this pain
do you even care?

And i keep telling myself
this is going to be my last goodbye
I keep telling my friends
this is going to be my one last cry
but everytime i wake up
i give it another try
I just can't say goodbye
to that one person in my life
I cant give up
why can't i?

I'm tired of hoping
that tomorrow will get better
that you'll come back
and promise forever
how can i not be trapped
when you're my only
way out

Just as a flower craves for rain
i yearn for your flood
to take me away...

Takipsilim

Kung ang langit
Sakbibi ng ulap, ulan at kidlat
Ang magiging saksi
Sa aking paghapis -

Pusong balatkayo
Alaala ng nakaraan
Ang siyang pananggalang

Sa ngayon
Pagkat ang buhay
Nanimdim, nawalay...

Ang langit ay tumigil at
nagpakaluhod sa lupa
Nagmakaawa sa putik
Na ako ay ibalik
sa iyong mga yakap

At ang ulan ay lumuha
at dumurog sa mga rosas sa hardin ni Eba
at unti unting umapaw
sa nagaalimpuyo kong puso

AIla'y nagmakaawa
Kaisa ng aking kaluluwa
Na ikaw ay magbalik

Ng ulan ay manatiling ulan
Na papawi sa aking hapdi
At ang pagibig manatiling dahilan
Sa pagpatak ng kanyang awa.